Mr. Everyone

Technically, it's a poem, but then again anything could be.Ummmm idk. It's more, hmmm... Idk, I can't find anything I like about it, but I can't find anything I dislike ...

I agree but to an extent... IDK how you see it now but 50% of my culture in cali is to be "hip" and the other 50% is to be ...

I have heard alot about the inheritence series im going to have to pick it up, and the eragorn series, and i can't wait for hp7 to hurry up and ...

=) I like the little piece of work you have, and i have to agree with groink, it would be so much better to personalize it a bit with a ...

I like it. probably because im a sucker for most nature. hehe I love how the five stanzas are aligned with the forms of the day and night and the ...

The end rhyme...last lign, was kind of a shock and throws off the fealing a bit, but besides that very well done, congradulations I love your choice of words and ...

I don't think I agree with your lign breaks, especially at the beginning of the poem... And the last two ligns don't end well with the syllabolic rythm going atleast, ...

welcome to yws=) lol i found your poem most ammusing. as if all of us can not relate to this hahahaha. Actually i think your form of repetition there starts ...

"Couldn’t have been better, couldn’t have asked for more God has given me every thing by making you mine" First of all ",Couldn't have been better," and ",couldn't have asked ...

I liked the poem, and understood it is a simple narrative perception of things that "shouldn't" be, that the narrator is simply looking over everything the world shouldnt have to ...

looks like you got all the critique from everyone else, so on a more positive note for a depressing story -gofigure- i liked the theme, though sad, it was an ...

It indeed is difficult to follow... but makes the reader read it over to understand break it down, rewrite the ligns so they have less syllables. but overall i liked ...

"With air touching my lips I feel prickle on them Many days have passed You did'nt come" When doesn't air touch your lips? try adding some punctuation like said above ...

I love the poem fun to read but the beginning was a little boring I guess maybe you could put some ligns together and make them couple syllables longers. but ...

"I Liked you And you liked me." The word "liked" doesnt seem that powerfull for a deep narrative like this. I liked your theme and the last sentace seemed week, ...